There have been periods in my life where I didn’t believe I was creative. For strange reasons, I felt that was a quality reserved for the special select. Even as I adored writing in high school, left home to study fashion design and eventually made my way to Los Angeles to become an actor, (you’re welcome mom!) I never fully accepted the banner of a “creative”.

A myriad of paintings, sculptures, poems, drawings and papier mâché objects made their way through me. Objects I usually dismissed because I was just “dabbling”. I wasn’t seriously versed in one craft.

That is, until I dove deep into acting. I went at it with the seriousness of a…well, a young actor. I fell flat on my face many times, but I went at it with the spirit of Brando in my veins. (I believe the stage table where I studied is still broken, thanks to yours truly.) I became versed in giving my heart and my guts away again and again.

Yet all this time, as I worked on my craft, my concurrent passion grew- health and vitality. It started as a few failed attempts at vegetarianism as a child, but the seeds were really planted when, in high school, I discovered yoga, pilates and meditation.

Eventually there came a time where I was becoming more and more proud of my acting. But I was also suffering deeper and deeper for it. It actually got to the point where I could feel pains in my body that corresponded to symptoms of the characters I was playing.

This scared me. Not the physical pain so much, but because I was now faced with what this meant for my identity as an actor. I still hadn’t claimed my creativity, but my study and my devotion was to acting and I was slowly realizing that this wasn’t going to be sustainable in my life.

Enter: The Void. I became so petrified about what I was going to do, I couldn’t even conjure what it was that turned me on anymore! If I wasn’t going to be acting, what could I do when my entire résumé and experience was ACTING?

Sometimes we have to sit in the uncomfortable, in the unknown. So I sat. Sometimes not so patiently, sometimes raging, sometimes feigning contentedness. Sometimes in denial. I was going back to my foundations with nothing, waiting. Waiting for something I did not yet know and hoped I would when (or if) it came.

However terrifying it might be, it just so happens that the void is incredibly fertile. This is where I came to know that I am, indeed, creative. I look back on that idea now lovingly because it’s absurd that any human would believe that they are not creative. Humans are inherently creative beings. PERIOD. Yes, even you.

So I now know the thing (actually there are so many) that turns me on is the mashup of Arts and Vitality. A major catalyst has been a frequency device called the Healy. With this frequency medicine I have experienced astronomical shifts in my physical body, my freedom, my abundance, my creativity and my perception of what is possible. I now know that it’s been frequency all along. I was just attuning myself to the tortured/starving artist (who wasn’t creative!) frequency for so long.

Shifts beget more shifts and I now feel like I’m blossoming.

I thought I was going back to foundations, starting at zero, but it turns out, although I thought my previous skills and experiences weren’t related to my new now, the weave of me informs my presence and gives expression to my value. Inherent, always, but now with added, unexpected textures.

This is what I’m finding as I sit down in a bohemian cafe on Sunset Boulevard, (yes, they still exist) drinking my namesake (rose tea) and pondering the Great Cross Section of Arts and Vitality. And a new adventure begins…I am so happy that you are here.